It’s a cracker…

Well, Christmas is past for another year.

We have had a lovely time- we had an extra house guest as a friend had a burst pipe on Christmas eve.

Finally the hold of ice and snow has been loosened- it is raining at the moment, revealing slowly retreating treacherous sheets of wet ice.

Not a day to venture far from the fireside.

So as is my tradition, I think it is time for some bad cracker-type jokes (thanks Isobel for the raw material!)

Firstly for the numbers people-

Apparently the  fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was the very well fed Sir Cumference. He acquired  his size from consuming too much pi.

Next, for the geographers-

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be
an optical Aleutian

Now for the hardened drinkers-

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

And the non-believers-

Atheism- the non-prophet organization.

For the sporty types-

He wondered why the ball just kept getting bigger. Then it hit him.

And my fellow poets-

Did you hear about the backward poet? He writes inverse.

For the engineers-

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

For the long in the tooth-

Did you hear about the Sadistic Buddhist Dentist? His goal: to transcend dental medication.

And finally- for my fellow canoeists-

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank,  proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

(Perhaps I should get out more- despite the ice.)

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