Michaela told this story the other day-

Once there was a large cruise liner voyaging across a wide ocean. It was full of people of all ages, who appreciated the safety and security offered by the experienced crew. Landfall was predictable and always on time, and although there were many storms, most of these could be by-passed or ridden out thanks to the ships stabilisers.

The crew of the liner were skilled at the production of all sorts of entertainment- balls, grand dinners, deck sports and above all- childrens activities. The kids were able to have fun, and this gave the parents to opportunity to do thier own thing, without any anxiety about what the kids would be up to.

But some of the passengers became restless. The life on board was just a little too predictable, and the ports of call organised and booked long in advance. For some, what was needed was a new adventure- the call of the high seas, and the beckon of the distant unexplored shore.

So they packed their belongings into small boats, said their goodbyes, and set out with their families on the blue sea.

And as they left the liner, someone shouted-

“But what will you do with the kids?”

We had a discussion at the Tautoko weekend about kids in these new forms of emerging church/small missional community/fresh expression (or what ever the current term that we are trying out is.)

Of course, the kind of church or community who might use one of these labels are varied. Some are embedded within more traditional church structures- complete with Sunday schools, youth groups and dedicated support structures for the development of young Christians.

Other communities are like mine. Groups of families and individuals who find themselves doing church in a more isolated situation, and kind of making it up as we go along. And those of us who are parents often worry. Because this experimental freedom is great for us- it was our decision (or perhaps our calling) but what about the kids?

How will they learn the stories of faith if not through Sunday school?

How will they absorb the Christian tradition unless through participation in a Church? (Note the capital C.)

How can we take a risk with their souls- the risk that we might be reducing the influence of Jesus on their formation, and so on their future and even eternal lives?

These are questions that Michaela and I have worried about. We no longer attend formal church, but live out faith in small group meetings, housegroups and in planning worship events in public spaces. It is exciting for us, but just ‘normal’ to our kids Emily and William. What legacy are we leaving in their lives?

Back to the discussion. The room contained parents of kids from about-to-be-born right up to 18. We talked about our experiments with family worship and Jonny described how their kids had grown up in as part of the Grace community. Others talked about the value they still found in their kids attending Sunday schools.

Despite the variety of opinion- some strands emerged that were meaningful to us-

• Guilt and anxiety comes all too readily to parents. Particularly around the bringing up of our children towards and understanding of faith.
• Perhaps we entrust this responsibility to others too readily. And this trust has a mixed reward- in our own memories, and in terms of those who survived Sunday School into adulthood with a live faith.
• Involving our kids in something that contains all our passions and hopes rather than just reluctant duty must be a good thing! In this way perhaps we can impart something deep and real…
• But HOW we involve the kids is important. Naz described housegroups where adults met to do their thing- to meet their own spiritual needs- and the kids had a great time running riot in the house or garden!
• We decided that sharing FOOD was important.
• And that taking kids seriously- and trusting them to contribute- was vital.
• We also noted the importance of mentoring and deliberate inclusion from OUTSIDE our kids immediate family. So perhaps this might be another member of the community recognising a skill or passion and inviting our young people to use it.
• Finally we noted the fact that kids seem to be able to deal with modular and perhaps even contradictory experiences of faith. Our kids typically combine small group meetings, youth groups weekends, major events like Greenbelt Festival, along with forms of church that we might find rather difficult.

I am glad that we left the big ship and set sail in our small one. I only hope that the journey is full of blessings for kids.

I love this picture, taken of a little girl dancing in Gloucester Cathedral during the Tautoko gathering last year. It represents the freedom that I hope for for my own kids-