SUNDAY
But as for me, I trust in you.
I made a choice to hope-
Despite all evidence to the contrary
To believe that despite the pain of birth
Life is just so beautiful
That despite our capacity to kill and maim
There is still such tenderness in your touch
And despite my lack of grace
Grace remains
Walk with me
Through the mess of my uncertainty
And whatever this life will lay down
I am no longer afraid
I am for you Lord
FRIDAY
12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
I could hide.
13 But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God,
as we walked about
among the worshipers.
.
I tried anger for a while
But in the end
I am just diminished
Empty like a dirty city street
On Sunday morning
.
Because those things that we planted together
Those places where good things grew
They now lie barren
.
And you my friend, became my judge
Sitting high on a bench before your hanging jury
And the verdict was never in doubt
I am convicted by every word I speak
It is as plain as the pain
In my face
.
Blessed are those who dwell together in unity
It is like dew in the desert
Like anointing oil on stormy waters
Like yesterday
Now gone
THURSDAY
I see violence and strife in the city.
10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
.
The windows have locks
The doors have bars
The blinking eye of the PIR
Scrutinises me from the corner
.
This house became my castle
But behind my high ramparts
My flesh is pale and soft
For I am afraid
.
Every pool of light
Serves only to better expose me
To the telephoto cross hairs
Of snipers
.
But what quality of life is this
That would sacrifice humanity
To preserve an illusion
Of security?
That would wall the mess of me
From the mess of you?
.
Because love is dangerous
Start me on this pilgrimage
Called risk
WEDNESDAY
6 I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest.
7 I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;[c]
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm.”
.
There are days when I would exchange my world
For a cave
Wrap me up in shadows
For darkness put out
My light
.
Carry me away
Over these monochrome mountains
Why would I stay?
What more could you want from me?
TUESDAY
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen on me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
A phone call in the dead of the night
A policeman standing stiff on the doorstep
The end
Where are you Lord?
I am falling
The next week’s meditations will be based around Psalm 55.
A cry of Lament.
Here it is in full…
Psalm 55 (NIV)
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A maskil of David.
1 Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea;
2 hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
3 because of what my enemy is saying,
because of the threats of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering on me
and assail me in their anger.4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen on me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
6 I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest.
7 I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;[c]
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm.”9 Lord, confuse the wicked, confound their words,
for I see violence and strife in the city.
10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
I could hide.
13 But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God,
as we walked about
among the worshipers.15 Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the realm of the dead,
for evil finds lodging among them.16 As for me, I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
18 He rescues me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.
19 God, who is enthroned from of old,
who does not change—
he will hear them and humble them,
because they have no fear of God.20 My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
21 His talk is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.22 Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.
23 But you, God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of decay;
the bloodthirsty and deceitful
will not live out half their days.But as for me, I trust in you.
Cheerful huh?
One third of all of the Psalms are written as laments- expressions of grief or sorrow- cries of pain and abandonment.
Does this strike you as a strange thing to form such a large part of the canon of hymns handed down to us from the ancient followers of JHWH?
Perhaps this says as much about us than it does about them. Because we tend to flick past these songs of Lament, and focus instead on the resoundingly optimistic songs- the ones that promise love, salvation and personal fulfilment.
I think this misses the point. They are there for a reason.
I recently heard one dominant stream of Christianity described as ‘Moralistic Therepeutic Deism’– a watered down faith that sees God as a kind of ‘divine therapist’, who serves as some kind of combination life coach/rich benevolent uncle- as long as we keep certain moral codes. Particularly the ones about sex.
But is this the God we encounter in the pages of the Bible?
There is certainly a flavour within many of the Psalms that would suggest that God is their God- theirs alone. He would save them, smite their enemies. Israel will prosper as long as it righteousness is found at the core of the Holy Nation.
But alongside this is a fear of the unknown mysterious YHWH. The jealous God whose very presence can spell death and destruction. If they got it wrong- even inadvertently- then enemies would pour through the gates of the city murdering and pillaging. And they did. The salvation they prayed for was very immediate- and could never be commanded or taken for granted.
Confusingly (and astonishingly) this same God however was capable of such tender love and mercy- sustaining the life of the nation like manna on desert dew.
The glimpses of God we see in the Psalms always feel to me to be just that- glimpses. Almost as if the ancient Hebrews are describing an elephant after glimpsing only it’s toenail, or the tip of it’s trunk.
We Christians believe we have seen a little more of the Elephant- we have a hindsight perspective given by our encounter with Jesus after all…or perhaps we just looked from a different direction- given the mess we often make of it all.
These songs of lament remind us that life is unpredictable. We are vulnerable- every one of us- from shooting stars or congenital heart disease or undeserved reputations. There will be wars and terror threats, and wrongful imprisonment. Our loved ones will pass away and leave us in a sea of grief. There is darkness in the human condition- but also great light.
And they also remind us that this God we serve is not a tame God. He did not make us and set us on our paths merely so that we may be more fulfilled within our already comfortable lives.
Perhaps he made us for adventure.
For mission.
For service to the other.
Above all he made us to love- particularly those whose song is currently one of lament.
this fragile tent 