The Keith Green story

TSK mentioned this film being available on You tube.

Those of us who grew up within the renewal movement in the 70’s and 80’s, then you will know the music of Keith Green. You will probably be able to sing a lot of the songs still, given a little memory cue. This film enabled me to look back at the place and time I was in then- and to appreciate anew… despite my very different perspective.

Keith died young, in a tragic plane crash, and this seems to have contributed to the Evangelical form of canonisation.

Perhaps this is well deserved…

Holy darkness


Is it darkness that we fear

Or the possibility of

No longer knowing?

This shrinking down

From adult to tiny child

As the tentacles of night

Enfold us

Is like a passage from this place

To another

It is the terror in need

Of a mother

It is the foxhole we share

With each other

But then what is it- this conspiracy of biology?

This delusion we shape

In rods

And cones?

Perhaps the darkness can be holy

Stripped of neon

It glows

And crackles

And beyond the edge of us

Off the rainbow register

There is a seeing

Without seeing

And a knowing

That knows

Nothing

Out in the indigo darkness

You are

And here are we

With hardly a spark

Between us

Shining


Starlit darkness…

The stars are out.

And Michaela reminded me of a discussion we had a few years ago about the mystery of God. It stemmed from me quoting Gregory of Nyssa, who apparently said something like this-

The move towards God is a journey into Holy darkness.

It really resonated with me- it spoke of the mystery of God, and the presence that we often feel in open spaces. It also spoke to me of a process of unknowing that I was experiencing at the time- a loosening of absolutes and a discovery of faith that is no longer built from stones, but is made up of reflected flecks of light.

The first collection of writing I put together was called ‘Blue Dark‘ because of old Gregory… and because of a lovely poem by our friend Susan.

At the time of our discussion, some of my friends (and Michaela) did not get it. God is LIGHT not darkness they said. Darkness is about fear and loneliness…

Then Michaela had this encounter with starlight.

And, unusually for her, wrote a lovely poem. I thought it time to reproduce it here, along with some photo’s taken this evening…

Starlit darkness

In the darkness
Is a childhood fear
Safe from one streetlight
To the next
Fear locked away
Till I am again
Out alone
No streetlights to rely on

In the darkness
Is no hope
No mystery
At best nothingness
At worst a nightmare
Waiting to happen

But then you talk
Of the starlit darkness
And I remember for a moment
The fear
The quick steps up our hill
Only to stop halfway
Breath taken by the beauty
Eyes lifted heavenward
Thankful for the big sky
Eyes searching something familiar
But yet awesome

No more fear
Only wonder
At the beauty of the darkness
That brings out the stars.

Michaela Goan
December 2007

 

Happy Birthday Emily!

My lovely daughter is 14.

14!

We had a lovely day- a lazy breakfast, followed by present opening and telephone thanking. Then lunch out, followed by an afternoon of friends and a house full of teenage girls for the evening party.

Emily had a ‘masquerade’ party- everyone wore masks, and played a version of charades called ‘masquerade’. Then they watched a film on the big screen, and shouted and giggled a lot.

Bless them all.

And this prayer becomes ever more urgent, as our kids grow away from us, and into their own future…

Happy birthday Emily. You are special.

From the ferry…

Yesterday we took a trip over the Clyde.

It is a very ordinary trip to us- we do it all the time. We go to the bottom of our drive, turn left and after about 200 yards, there is the terminal.

The rhythm of the ferries in their back and forward battle with the tides is the backdrop to our lives here. The lights pass comfortingly by on wet stormy nights, and on still morning you can hear the safety information announcement clearly floating in the air as we lie in bed, wrapped up warm whilst the commuters head for the city.

Yesterday was ordinary.

But there is beauty in the ordinary.

There are fragments of wonder.

 

Advent arrives…

So, today is the first day of Advent.

It is also Emily’s birthday! (More on that later!)

As part of my journey through Advent, I am going to use a comic-book-calendar version of the nativity, by the wonderful Si Smith (see here for 40, more of his art.)

The calendar is available for download from Proost- here, along with all sorts of other advent materials. Go on- it’s worth it!

Here is number one, to wet the appetite…

Asylums, churches, and the retreat of the institution…

I was in Lochgilphead today, with a series of meetings- including one at Argyll and Bute hospital. The building dates from 1862, and is one of the very few Victorian ‘lunatic asylums’ still in use today.

Lovely old building it might be, but it is a total anachronism. Built to house hundreds of patients from all over this area, only a handful of the original wards are still open, whilst the cost of maintaining the structure eats away at resources desperately needed by community services more fitted to present day understanding of treatment and support of people experiencing mental ill health. It is hoped that a new purpose built facility will (hopefully) replace it soon…

It stopped raining today, and I decided to take the camera into the woods at lunchtime.

I walked into a forest that until recently was managed by a woodland project run by patients from the hospital. The project has lost it’s funding now, as patient numbers have dwindled, and as segregated projects like this are now regarded as a potential obstacle to recovery, as they are not supportive of integration back into the community.

It was lovely though…

The subject I was chewing on as I walked, was the huge change that this areas has seen. The hospital was built as a means of providing what was regarded as much needed humane treatment of ‘lunatics’ and ‘idiots’. These very terms are now insulting and offensive, but at the time the hospital was progressive, impressive and planned to ‘scientific’ principles.

Even the trees I walked in were planted as a means of sheltering (or perhaps hiding) the hospital.

Evidence of the attempts to use the forest as a resource were everywhere- the notices describing different trees, the carvings, the rough wooden tables- and this…

I think it was built to make the best of a view, but in effect, it stands as a temporary monument to a rather meaningless industry.

A bridge into nowhere.

The people that made it are no longer in the hospital. I hope and pray their lives are rich and meaningful, and that the time spent working in these woods is a happy memory. But the fact is, such forms of occupational therapy are no longer part of common psychiatric practice.

And I thought of that other late Victorian institution that I am so familiar with- the modern protestant church. The buildings that were the places of the Protestant institutions still adorn all of our towns and cities- many are lovely too. Most of them are just as empty as this old hospital.

The parallels are pretty obvious. What both offered was good- perhaps even the best of what was possible in their day. They were raised with such energy and optimism. They changed the landscape of their times.

But as time passed, the rituals and routines that they followed became less and less in tune with the wider world. In some case, it was even toxic– what started off as an enclave of hope, became a backwater, where lives stagnated. Escaping such situations can be so very hard…

And what industry there is continued to look towards the institution. It was contained within the stone walls and the boundary fences.

And bridges were built to nowhere.

There will be a new hospital soon, which will not be perfect- there will be more compromises, more challenges- but we hope that the focus will shift to outside these old stone walls and into our homes and houses- where real lives are situated.

I kind of hope the same for church…

Weakness…

In her beautiful response to this piece, Aileen reminded me of the following verse

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 8:8-10

Which set me thinking again.

About the God of all things who seems drawn to humble broken people.

There is a danger that we come to be familiar with a certain kind of weakness, and wear it like a badge- we are after all called into a transformative encounter with the Spirit of God.

But still, we only find this encounter in- weakness. When our own ways of coping run out, and we let go the hunger to possess, to overcome, to self actuate.

Listen to me- like I have got this sorted!

Time for a poem I think…

Weakness

A bruised reed may not break
But still it withers
So it is that sometimes
I fear these wounds
Are terminal
I grasp for the shreds of my own strength
And hunger for soul shrinking success
That comes and yet is never enough
What is this power
Made perfect
In weakness?
Could it be that the mess of me
Might yet be compost
And seeds you sow
Will grow?

A bit of respite from the storms- Bruce Cockburn…

It has been so wet and wild here all week. Storms and very heavy rain.

I had a wild drive to Lochgilphead today- roads awash, wipers on high speed. The Royal Navy sheltering in Loch Fyne- grey on grey.

In these dark days and long nights, we tend to close down and retire to the fireside with our thoughts. It can be so oppressive.

What we need is something beautiful to light up the soul. So here is a bit more of my favourite musician/poet, singing of a longing for something beyond…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “respite from the storms- Bruce Cockbu…“, posted with vodpod