I heard about the tragic story of this young rugby player today (more from the BBC here)

Daniel James, talented rugby player, tipped for great things. Until in March 2007 he suffers a compressed fracture of the spine as a scrum collapsed, and the resultant damage left him a paraplegic and in considerable pain.

And 18 months later, after two previous failed suicide attempts, he traveled to a swiss clinic who were prepared to assist him in his wish to die.

His parents described their experience in an e-mail in this way (as reported by the BBC)

“We returned from Switzerland on the 12 September after accompanying our… son who had been left tetraplegic after a rugby accident,” she wrote.

“Dan found his life so unbearable and had tried to commit suicide three times, other than to starve himself to travel to Switzerland was his only option.

“Whilst we were away some ‘well meaning’ person involved with social services took it upon herself to call the police.

“This person had never met Dan before or after his accident and obviously gave no consideration for our younger daughters who had seen their big brother suffer so much, and the day before had to say goodbye to him.

“I hope that one day I will get the chance to speak to this lady and ask if she had a son, daughter, father, mother, who could not walk, had no hand function, was incontinent, and relied upon 24-hour care for every basic need and they had asked her for support, what would she have done?!

“Our son could not have been more loved and had he felt he could live his life this way he would have been loved just the same but this was his right as a human being, nobody but nobody should judge him or anyone else.”

It is a terrible thing to lose someone you love. We can only begin to guess what this family have gone through. Nor what we might do in their situation faced with such pain and suffering.

But this seems to me to be such a terrible waste. A young man full of talent and aspiration looses everything that he thought life was about. And in the middle of all the searing pain and loss, he finds no hope. He sees no possibility of a future that has any meaning.

His family have been with him every step of the way, but 18 months is a short time for you and me in the stride of our life, but a long long time if every minute is full of misery and agony.

So they eventually accede to his wishes, and take him to one of the few places in the world where assisted suicide is permissible, administered in a modern clinic surrounded by his family.

A peaceful medicinal and narcotic end to what is known, and a passage to whatever is to come…

To lose hope is to lose life itself.

Could this young man have found his way back to life given another 18 months/weeks/days/hours?

No-one will ever know for sure. His actions can not be undone. His parents can not afford to ever think like this, or no doubt it will destroy them.

May they find their own hope.

But what of us, facing our own uncertain future? We have a friend who is a supporter of dignity in dying. She is towards the end of a full life, and lost her husband a couple of years ago. She is an atheist, and sees no point in prolonging life beyond the ability to fend fully for oneself.

These are such difficult issues. As with many deeply human ethical questions, what may seem black and white is shadowed with large areas of grey.

The giving and taking of life is God’s business.

But the sustaining and defining of life- this increasingly is a scientific phenomenon- at least for those who can afford it.

I think our response can only be to be those who accompany, and illuminate beauty and grace particularly those who need it most.

May we be bringers of hope to the hopeless

And singers of songs of freedom to those who are captive

May we dream of redemption for the irredeemable

And at the end of it all

May we fall

Into the arms

Of a loving God.