Vending machine…

The coin fell        and the

Machine burped into action,     its belly

Rumbling,                      promising the delivery of

Instant overly salted,         high

Cholesteroled       delicious            snacking

Something in its     shiny face

Uncurled, and the bag of crisps                leaned

Towards me               almost dropping.

Almost

but      not

quite

And I am left       hungry

But perhaps the                healthier for it

Perhaps the wiser

Without it

First Sunday of Advent…

 

Advent

 

There is no patience in this waiting

No watching from windows

Or straining for the whispered step in the distance

 

There is no surprise in this coming

It has been shouted by stars

And sung from supermarket speakers

 

There is no mystery in this telling

It is a story told and sold a million times

Asset stripped and bankrupt

 

There is no meaning in this madness

All this plastic decoration

All this hollow celebration

 

Yet still

He comes

The things you do on a wet Saturday afternoon…

William, Michaela and I set up a poetry/meditation walk in Morag’s Fairy Glen this afternoon- it will be up for the duration of Cowalfest– and is part of Aoradh’s contribution to the walking and arts festival.

It started out moist, and finished soaking wet.

Here we are, suffering for the Kingdom-

(Photos by William.)

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A big bite of Auden…

I discovered this poem recently by W H AudenHorae Canonicae…

I have not read a lot of Auden- although we have all heard the ‘stop the clocks’ poem used to such brilliant effect in ‘4 weddings and a funeral’-

Even though this poem has had such over exposure, it still reeks with emotion and grief- and manages to put something into words that we all instinctively feel to be ‘true’.

What I did not know was that Auden was a Christian- both his grandfather’s were Anglican ministers, and although he lost his faith as a boy, he found it again in later life, thanks to encountering the writings of Søren Kierkegaard and Reinhold Niebuhr and partly too because of the influence of Charles Williams.

Auden lived a life in interesting times- the clash of great ideologies, and the world war. He was a socialist Englishman who lived in New York, eventually becoming an American citizen. He was gregarious loner and a gay man who longed for the sanctity of marriage.

And he wrote beautiful, sublime poetry, including a collection of poems based around the canonical hours– called ‘Horae Canonicae’.

So here is a slice of it. You can read the whole here.

Anywhere you like, somewhere

on broad-chested life-giving Earth,

anywhere between her thirstlands

and undrinkable Ocean,

the crowd stands perfectly still,

its eyes (which seem one) and its mouths

(which seem infinitely many)

expressionless, perfectly blank.

The crowd does not see (what everyone sees)

a boxing match, a train wreck,

a battleship being launched,

does not wonder (as everyone wonders)

who will win, what flag she will fly,

how many will be burned alive,

is never distracted

(as everyone is always distracted)

by a barking dog, a smell of fish,

a mosquito on a bald head:

the crowd sees only one thing

(which only the crowd can see)

an epiphany of that

which does whatever is done.

Whatever god a person believes in,

in whatever way he believes,

(no two are exactly alike)

as one of the crowd he believes

and only believes in that

in which there is only one way of believing.

Few people accept each other and most

will never do anything properly,

but the crowd rejects no one, joining the crowd

is the only thing all men can do.

Only because of that can we say

all men are our brothers,

superior, because of that,

to the social exoskeletons: When

have they ever ignored their queens,

for one second stopped work

on their provincial cities, to worship

The Prince of this world like us,

at this noon, on this hill,

in the occasion of this dying.

Some words from the Archbishop…

There was a lovely interview by David Hare in the Guardian yesterday with Rowan Williams- here.

It reminded me again why this man is something of a hero of mine- his deep, thoughtful, compassionate stance on so many of the issues facing us, and his fierce intelligence. I thought it worth extracting a few quotes from the article…

When he observes that economic relations as they are currently played out threaten people’s sense of what life is and what reality means, surely what he’s really saying is that capitalism damages people. To my surprise, he agrees. Does he therefore think economic relations should be ordered in a different way? “Yes.” So is it fair to say, then, that he’s anti-free market capitalism? “Yes,” he says and roars with laughter. “Don’t you feel better for my having said it?”

He goes on to rehearse what he insists he’s said before (“I don’t mind saying it again”) about how no one can any longer regard the free market as a naturally beneficent mechanism, and how more sophisticated financial instruments have made it even harder to spot when the market’s causing real hurt.

 

Is he paying too high a price for keeping together people who believe different things about gender, priesthood and sexuality? “I’ve no sympathy for that view. I don’t want to see the church so balkanised that we talk only to people we like and agree with. Thirty years ago, little knowing what fate had in store, I wrote an article about the role of a bishop, saying a bishop is a person who has to make each side of a debate audible to the other. The words ‘irony’ and ‘prescience’ come to mind. And of course you attract the reproach that you lack the courage of leadership and so on. But to me it’s a question of what only the archbishop of Canterbury can do.”

 

“We must get to grips with the idea that we don’t contribute anything to God, that God would be the same God if we had never been created. God is simply and eternally happy to be God.” How on Earth can he possibly know such a thing? “My reason for saying that is to push back on what I see as a kind of sentimentality in theology. Our relationship with God is in many ways like an intimate human relationship, but it’s also deeply unlike. In no sense do I exist to solve God’s problems or to make God feel better.” In other words, I say, you hate the psychiatrist/patient therapy model that so many people adopt when thinking of God? “Exactly. I know it’s counterintuitive, but it’s what the classical understanding of God is about. God’s act in creating the world is gratuitous, so everything comes to me as a gift. God simply wills that there shall be joy for something other than himself. That is the lifeblood of what I believe.”

 

I ask him if he’s happy to be thought of in a tradition of Welsh poet-priests – George HerbertGerard Manley HopkinsRS Thomas? “I always get annoyed when people call RS Thomas a poet-priest. He’s a poet, dammit. And a very good one. The implication is that somehow a poet-priest can get away with things a real poet can’t, or a real priest can’t. I’m very huffy about that. But I do accept there’s something in the pastoral office that does express itself appropriately in poetry. And the curious kind of invitation to the most vulnerable places in people that is part of priesthood does come up somewhere in poetic terms.

“Herbert’s very important to me. Herbert’s the man. Partly because of the absolute candour when he says, I’m going to let rip, I’m feeling I can’t stand God, I’ve had more than enough of Him. OK, let it run, get it out there. And then, just as the vehicle is careering towards the cliff edge, there’s a squeal of brakes. ‘Methought I heard one calling Child!/And I replied My Lord.’ I love that ending, because it means, ‘Sorry, yes, OK, I’m not feeling any happier, but there’s nowhere else to go.’ Herbert is not sweet.”

“And you like that?”

“Non-sweetness? I do.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two screens…

Today I worked from home. There is sickness in the house- M and I seem to have picked up some bug or other, and as a result, sleep was largely absent last night.

So I toiled most of the day on some reports- including ‘equality impact assessments’ relating to proposed service redesigns. If that sounds boring- well perhaps, but it actually relates to the need to save money from already overstretched budgets so actually, it is an ominous kind of boredom. It relates to an activity that will potentially have impact on lives and livelihoods. So forgive me- this post is a wee bit of therapy for my soul.

Open all along the bottom of my screen however, mixed in with various documents I am trying to make sense of, are other kinds of writing.

I found myself flicking between two screens-

One contained a file into which I am typing dead, anodyne yet scary words into an predetermined format.

The other contained a poem I am working on.

The contrast is palpable, and painful at the same time. Like being caught between the body and the soul. This dual life that modernity has condemned us to.

Not that we have any kind of right to an easy life, full of creative choices and mystical mountaintops to be conjured at our own choosing. This kind of self-activating-self-fulfillment-self-absorption is equally repellant.

But how we all long for a life of simple integrity, where what we have is enough, and all the more so shared.

And how (today at least) I hate bureaucratic solutions to human problems- no matter how necessary.

Time for a poem I think. An old one, from ‘Listing’

Blessed are those who are poor in spirit…

Blessed are they in failure
Blessed are they in repeated defeat

And blessed are they in
Every empty success

Blessed are they when plans, laid out-
Are stolen

And dreams are drained by

Middle age

Blessed are the wage slaves
And the mortgage makers
Blessed are those who keep on treading

This treadmill

Blessed are they who have no hope
And for whom life is
Grey and formless

Blessed are the B-list
And the has-been’s

Blessed are they at the end
Of all their coping

For here I am

And here I am building

My Kingdom

Greenbelt beckons…

Aoradh spent tonight planning for some events we have up and coming- including our worship slot at Greenbelt Festival.

Greenbelt suddenly seems close, and we are still really at the ‘playing around with ideas’ stage. However, this is usually my favourite part of any project- the bit where you get to create things out of next to nothing- and how one idea sparks another, then another. The theme this year is ‘Dreams of home’- we are playing with some themes around the Feast of Tabernacles.

I am also doing some poetry with Proost– recorded and available on headsets around the site. I have not written that yet either! To be honest, I am a little worried about this- my poems tend to be so introspective and private- and these poems have to sit alongside those of two really great performance poets- European poetry slam champion Harry Baker and the equally brilliant Padraig O Tuama.

Oh dear- I can’t do that. Or that. I suppose that as ever, I need to stop worrying about what others do, and just trust that what I am/have is enough. I can do that. I think. Perhaps I will write a poem about it.

Anyway- there is lots of good stuff at GB this year- some music I really like- A Show of Hands, Kate Rusby,  as well as headline speakers Rob Bell and Brian McLaren.

If you are going this year, and you read this blog- drop me a line, perhaps we can share a beer/coffee.

Otherwise, Aoradh’s worship slot is on Friday night this year- 7pm I think…

 

 

Peace to you…

She was back this morning- with both of the kids.

I know they are eating my plants (although, as you can see, the grass is overdue for cutting) but they are such beautiful creatures.

I am reminded of one of Justin’s lovely poems- circulated as part of our Aoradh daily meditations-

Peace to you. Peace with you.

You that sleep without resting

Wake without rising, Peace to you.

.

Peace with you.

You that have grown distant

From the sparrow, Peace to you.

.

Peace with you.

You that wait in some deep

Valley and know it not yet

.

As the beginning of a mountain.

May you be wholly and holy

Peaceful and makers thereof.

.

And while we are on the subject of peace- here is a picture of Michaela and our youngest guest- little Laurie whose parents are staying in the Annexe at the moment.


Aoradh daily meditation- Justin’s lovely poem…

After a short break, Aoradh have continued the daily meditation by e-mail thing.

I think we had a break because life gets in the way of such daily production- particularly when only a few folk are really keen on the discipline of writing daily, or creating daily.

But we have started again- with help! If you would like to be added to the circulation list, and so receive a (more or less) daily e-mail, drop me a line

Thanks to the joy of the internet, connections are possible over hundreds- even thousands of miles, so it is that we have had two ‘guest’ contributors to our daily meditations last week and this week.

Last week we had a lovely selection of quotes and pictures from Dorothy Neilsen.

This week, poetry by Justin Heap (from Nashville, Tennessee, USA) which I am really looking forward to as, well- poetry is my thing! And also because Justin can write like this- his first meditation of the week…

You will die. Let these be words

to prove hope in light of faith,

words to grow heavy on the chest

to prove light in hope of faith,

that resurrection always

follows death in this kingdom.

Take what you will, taw and busk,

for rich soil always welcomes poor

seeds looking to change, to live.

Thanks Justin- beautiful!