SUNDAY
But as for me, I trust in you.
I made a choice to hope-
Despite all evidence to the contrary
To believe that despite the pain of birth
Life is just so beautiful
That despite our capacity to kill and maim
There is still such tenderness in your touch
And despite my lack of grace
Grace remains
Walk with me
Through the mess of my uncertainty
And whatever this life will lay down
I am no longer afraid
I am for you Lord
SATURDAY
20 My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
21 His talk is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.
Somewhere along the climb up the greasy pole
The creases in his suit
Became sharp enough to cut me to the bone
.
Somehow power became more important than people
Strength was celebrated over weakness
Efficiency overwhelmed humanity
.
He sees no grey
Just black and blue
This man will decide the fate of thousands
.
Because of him buildings will scrape the sky
And on his bidding bombs fall on children
If his ends require it
.
Because each time he squashed a spirit
It became easier
And each time his ends could always justify his means
.
But there was a new covenant made
That has no interest in productivity
And seeks to win no wars
.
Rather it is a covenant for the humble
Of grace, kindness
And love
FRIDAY
12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
I could hide.
13 But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God,
as we walked about
among the worshipers.
.
I tried anger for a while
But in the end
I am just diminished
Empty like a dirty city street
On Sunday morning
.
Because those things that we planted together
Those places where good things grew
They now lie barren
.
And you my friend, became my judge
Sitting high on a bench before your hanging jury
And the verdict was never in doubt
I am convicted by every word I speak
It is as plain as the pain
In my face
.
Blessed are those who dwell together in unity
It is like dew in the desert
Like anointing oil on stormy waters
Like yesterday
Now gone
THURSDAY
I see violence and strife in the city.
10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
.
The windows have locks
The doors have bars
The blinking eye of the PIR
Scrutinises me from the corner
.
This house became my castle
But behind my high ramparts
My flesh is pale and soft
For I am afraid
.
Every pool of light
Serves only to better expose me
To the telephoto cross hairs
Of snipers
.
But what quality of life is this
That would sacrifice humanity
To preserve an illusion
Of security?
That would wall the mess of me
From the mess of you?
.
Because love is dangerous
Start me on this pilgrimage
Called risk
WEDNESDAY
6 I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest.
7 I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;[c]
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm.”
.
There are days when I would exchange my world
For a cave
Wrap me up in shadows
For darkness put out
My light
.
Carry me away
Over these monochrome mountains
Why would I stay?
What more could you want from me?
TUESDAY
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen on me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
A phone call in the dead of the night
A policeman standing stiff on the doorstep
The end
Where are you Lord?
I am falling
The next week’s meditations will be based around Psalm 55.
A cry of Lament.
Here it is in full…
Psalm 55 (NIV)
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A maskil of David.
1 Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea;
2 hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
3 because of what my enemy is saying,
because of the threats of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering on me
and assail me in their anger.4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen on me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
6 I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest.
7 I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;[c]
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm.”9 Lord, confuse the wicked, confound their words,
for I see violence and strife in the city.
10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
I could hide.
13 But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God,
as we walked about
among the worshipers.15 Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the realm of the dead,
for evil finds lodging among them.16 As for me, I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
18 He rescues me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.
19 God, who is enthroned from of old,
who does not change—
he will hear them and humble them,
because they have no fear of God.20 My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
21 His talk is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.22 Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.
23 But you, God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of decay;
the bloodthirsty and deceitful
will not live out half their days.But as for me, I trust in you.
Cheerful huh?
One third of all of the Psalms are written as laments- expressions of grief or sorrow- cries of pain and abandonment.
Does this strike you as a strange thing to form such a large part of the canon of hymns handed down to us from the ancient followers of JHWH?
Perhaps this says as much about us than it does about them. Because we tend to flick past these songs of Lament, and focus instead on the resoundingly optimistic songs- the ones that promise love, salvation and personal fulfilment.
I think this misses the point. They are there for a reason.
I recently heard one dominant stream of Christianity described as ‘Moralistic Therepeutic Deism’– a watered down faith that sees God as a kind of ‘divine therapist’, who serves as some kind of combination life coach/rich benevolent uncle- as long as we keep certain moral codes. Particularly the ones about sex.
But is this the God we encounter in the pages of the Bible?
There is certainly a flavour within many of the Psalms that would suggest that God is their God- theirs alone. He would save them, smite their enemies. Israel will prosper as long as it righteousness is found at the core of the Holy Nation.
But alongside this is a fear of the unknown mysterious YHWH. The jealous God whose very presence can spell death and destruction. If they got it wrong- even inadvertently- then enemies would pour through the gates of the city murdering and pillaging. And they did. The salvation they prayed for was very immediate- and could never be commanded or taken for granted.
Confusingly (and astonishingly) this same God however was capable of such tender love and mercy- sustaining the life of the nation like manna on desert dew.
The glimpses of God we see in the Psalms always feel to me to be just that- glimpses. Almost as if the ancient Hebrews are describing an elephant after glimpsing only it’s toenail, or the tip of it’s trunk.
We Christians believe we have seen a little more of the Elephant- we have a hindsight perspective given by our encounter with Jesus after all…or perhaps we just looked from a different direction- given the mess we often make of it all.
These songs of lament remind us that life is unpredictable. We are vulnerable- every one of us- from shooting stars or congenital heart disease or undeserved reputations. There will be wars and terror threats, and wrongful imprisonment. Our loved ones will pass away and leave us in a sea of grief. There is darkness in the human condition- but also great light.
And they also remind us that this God we serve is not a tame God. He did not make us and set us on our paths merely so that we may be more fulfilled within our already comfortable lives.
Perhaps he made us for adventure.
For mission.
For service to the other.
Above all he made us to love- particularly those whose song is currently one of lament.
Michaela pointed this out to me today- which had somehow passed me by-
(Egyptian Muslims raising the Bible & Quran side by side while forming human shields around a church)
It relates to two events in Egypt over the past couple of months.
Firstly, on Christmas eve, thousands of Muslims turned up at Christian Coptic Mass(the 7th of January) services across the country to offer themselves as human shields to protect the Christian worshippers from the threat of suicide bombers.
This in the wake of a brutal attack on a church service on New Years Eve (which left 21 people dead) Mohamed El-Sawy, a Muslim arts tycoon, organised the event behind the slogan “We either live together or we die together.”
Then, in response to this act of solidarity and peace making from Egyptian Muslims, during the recent street protests, Christians formed another human shield to protect Muslims praying in the street-
Hallelujah.
I added a link to an excellent local news website to my blogroll recently. I found myself visiting ForArgyll frequently, as they seem to be committed to a muscular, opinionated kind of investigative journalism that often makes for interesting reading. Whether or not you agree with their comment, they seem to be committed to holding our local government to account in an intelligent and committed way.
And although many of you probably care little about the politics of Argyll- the county in which I live and work-I thought it worth reflecting on how the economic crisis is working itself out locally.
I work for the local council, and whilst it would not be appropriate for me to discuss detail of the financial situation the social work department is facing, it is no secret to say that it is frightening.
Argyll and Bute council is one of those few local governing bodies that has been governed by coalitions of mostly ‘independent’ councillors for years. Political parties tend to be minorities in any administration. Whether this is a good thing or not is a point of debate, but it is very hard to know what individual representatives stand for. It also means that the representatives often lack a wider context of support, political affiliation and even scrutiny by national political organisations. And things can become very parochial indeed.
Overall, Argyll is home to around 60,000 people dispersed across remote islands and large rural areas. Our largest town, Helensburgh, has less than 20,000 people- and often feels like part of a Glasgow rather than the Highlands. We are an ageing population- not just in terms of more older people, but more OLDER older people. Our school rolls are shrinking and all services tend to be marginal in their cost effectiveness because of the dispersed nature of the population they serve.
Into this context will come savage cuts.
But at present, no one seems to have a clue what is going to be cut, and how the council will balance it’s budget. It has already been a total dog’s breakfast- with all sorts of allegations flying around.
The council took the decision to close a number of local schools, in order to save money, but then effective campaigning pointed out that the calculations of savings on which the closures where based on were totally wrong- this because of the grant allocations from central government and a whole host of other things. Oh- and the council is supposed to consult on these closures, and they had failed to do so. Chaos ensued. The Scottish National Party councillors who were then part of the ruling coalition (one of whom was the education spokesperson) withdrew from government, and since then we have had much politicking to form a new ruling group.
Meanwhile, the executive and the administration are coming under increasing fire- not least from ForArgyll, whose probing questions have centred around-
I have worked for the council since 2002, and these are chaotic times.
Meanwhile, over in the health service…
This is the front page picture from our local paper. It features a friend of mine, and local Episcopal minister, Andrew Swift, taking part in a campaign to save the local hospice.
This has caused unprecedented local ill feeling- the hospice was formed as a result of considerable local fundraising, and in partnership with the local Health Authority, who have now decided to close it. This is related to their own financial crisis, but has been spun out over a long period of time, with lots of allegations and counter allegations.
First many local GP’s issued a joint letter of protest.
Followed by a joint statement from local ministers- represented ably by Andrew as above.
Local passions are running high.
In the middle of all this, I find myself asking whether some good will come from all this?
Optimism is not really my natural condition, and there is much to fear as we face an uncertain future, locally and nationally.
But local engagement in politics, and a shakedown of old hierarchies and hegemonies- these things are good I think. They are a gift that comes with crisis- and the promise of real change.
Elections are coming…
Finally- local political quote of the week-
The leader of the Council is one of Dunoon’s councillors, Dick Walsh. When questioned about the closure of the hospice (and possibly relieved that he was not in the firing line for a change) he had this to say-
“The hospice will close over my dead body.”
Came across this today, and thought it worth mentioning-
The Campaign to End Loneliness.
Here are one or two highlights from the site-
Loneliness can be crippling. Some of the health implications are mentioned here.
Researchers tend to talk about different kinds of loneliness- chronic or situational loneliness and social or emotional loneliness. Emotional loneliness is due to the lack of a significant other, while social loneliness is about lacking connections in a wider circle of friends.
Interestingly, men tend to define loneliness more by the lack of a close personal relationship/life partner, whereas women are more likely to talk about not being part of a network of friends.
It set me thinking again about what we might do about this…
I think one thing we might do is look around us, and be more deliberate about sharing lives with older generations. By this I do not mean merely ‘visiting’ or offering assistance in a patronising kind of way. It rarely works as a way of reducing loneliness- rather it might increase alienation and create dependency. This also may well not be sustainable, and we end up letting people down.
But perhaps there are other ways. I do not mean to suggest that we have got this all sorted, but here is one story of hope that might suggest an alternative-
Our kids are blessed with 4 different arrangements of Grandparents- due to the breakdown of marriages and various re formed family situations. But they are all at a distance.
So we have an adopted Scottish Granny.
Our dear Netta has just gone home after looking after William all day- he has been feeling ill, and so was off school. While she was here, she mended a chair cover, and sewed up some holes in clothing. Sometimes it feels like we are exploiting her, but I know too that it gives her such a lot of pleasure to be helpful in these ways…
We are able to help her out with some little household tasks although she hates asking, so it is always better to try to anticipate them if we can. Michaela is good at keeping in touch too, which is something I am rubbish at- being a hater of the telephone at the best of times.
Netta’s husband died around 10 ago- we never knew him, but he must have been a special man. He left a terrible void. We have become very fond of Netta’s grown up daughter too- who lives over the water, and gets over whenever she can.
What we have found is that the important thing is relationship. Lives shared. Families open and extending themselves to one another.
We humans are social animals. But we are all different, so there will need to be lots of different solutions- lots of different ways of connecting one with the other.
And loneliness is not inevitable- it is cultural. So let us change the culture.
this fragile tent 