Church abuse 2

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The things we do in the name of the Prince of Peace.

A friend told me a story recently of her family’s experience of church. She grew up in a very strict religious situation, with strong moral and and ethical codes for life. Her parents did their best to provide a Christian home, and her community still tried to live as they saw the Bible telling us to, for example, avoiding work or travel on the sabbath.

About 15 years ago, there was a significant split in the church over doctrine. It was an incredibly painful time for the people involved. My friend’s parents, as people of strong faith and integrity, were at the centre of it all. They were finding it so difficult, that they were considering leaving the church.

At one point they went to see the pastor, to discuss how that were feeling. The pastor told them that if they left the church (in order to attend another one) they would be leaving the Church of Jesus Christ on this earth.

The strain became so great for my friends parents that her mother had a breakdown, and ended up in psychiatric hospital. Her father had a heart attack.

The amazing thing about both my friend and her parents, is that they are all still Christians. Many people, when the scaffolding of Church is stripped away, loose faith. Our Church leadership and activities easily become the conduits through which our spirituality is expressed- the only way that we can approach God. Strip these away, and for many of us, faith goes too, at least for a while.

But the church situation above seems to me to have developed all the characteristics of an unhealthy, abusive, even toxic institution.

The sort of faith whose members Jesus called ‘a brood of vipers’. Whose religious practices brought him to such anger that he overturned tables.

This kind of Pharisaical dogmatism that places people in bondage has often been termed ‘spiritual abuse’. There are some resources available here if you want to check this out further.

In the meantime, let us remember that it is for FREEDOM that we were set free. And those of us who have been enslaved- let us reintroduce them to the table turner…

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Blessed are the merciful

aoradh.org – Beatitudes

Blessed are the merciful

Blessed are the tender ones
Who carry my mercy
In their very souls

Blessed are those who tremble
For the ones whose hearts
Have holes

For on them will always travel
Survivors

Blessed are they-

My life rafts

And blessed are you as the burdens
Become too much to bear

And the broken people

Break you

Blessed are you when you are all poured out
And now lie empty

For here

Am I

Blessed are you
Child of my heart

For through you
My blessings multiply
And My Kingdom

Is incandescent.

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Church is in crisis?

This post was originally posted on the Aoradh website.

In Britain, all Church denominations are seeing decline in attendance figures. All are asking questions about what it is that we are doing, and what needs to change. Words like Postmodern and Post evangelical are used, and usually there is a suggestion that the new social context requires new expressions and practices from Church.

There is a feeling that Church is in crisis. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as we usually need crisis to create change. Crisis can be very creative. It can also be very scary and threatening, however, leading to the erection of defensive positions, and even to an Alamo mentality in some.

There is an interesting discussion in one of Brian McLarens books (The secret message of Jesus) where he talks about the crisis facing the Jewish leaders at the time of Jesus birth and early life. Jewish culture and history had been overwhelmed by an invading force. The Roman Empire had annexed Israel, and set up its headquarters in Jerusalem, the city of God. All good Jews awaited the coming of Messiah, who would overcome this evil empire and establish a new Kingdom.

But Messiah seemed to be taking his time, and in the waiting the different stratifications and sects within Judean society adopted fixed positions, partially in response to the crisis. Here are some of them

Essenes. The Essenes all but gave up on Jewish society. It was too sinful, too decadent. They withdrew to the desert, where they sought to establish new communities based on austerity, religious observance and piety. The trappings of Jewish society were spurned, and the Essenes focused their effort and attention on the study of scripture, and the coming Kingdom of Heaven.

What their response to Jesus was, it is not clear. They may have been scandalized by his engagement with ordinary life and ordinary people. They may have been appalled by his apparent party-going, feasting and drinking with unclean and debauched individuals. They may have struggled to understand what he meant by statements like The Kingdom of God is here.

Pharisees. The Pharisees were the evangelicals of their day. They espoused the strict observance of rigid religious codes and laws. They evolved complex legal systems to give shape to every situation, built from the raw material of the Laws given to Moses. Ritual purification through sacrifice and attendance at synagogue and temple was expected of all Pharisees. They also eagerly awaited Messiah, who they saw as heralding a new pure and glorious Jewish Kingdom.

For these Pharisees, the reason that Messiah did not come was because of the sinful state of the nation. Every where there was impurity. Sexual immorality, political compromise and accommodation with the enemy, unclean and unworthy people. So they set out on a mission to clean up society.

Jesus seemed to have no time for the Pharisees at all nor they for him. He seemed to be prepared to hangout with these impure and unworthy individuals, and to break all sorts of religious laws. He taught a perversion of correct doctrinal law, and kept going on about love and forgiveness.

Jesus suggested a radically different path. A radically different New Kingdom.

Herodians. The Kings Herod (there were quite a few different ones) were puppet rulers of a Roman province. Their power came from compromise and political maneuvering. They also had a dreadful reputation for debauchery, incestuous relationships, and murder. Their followers were largely the Jewish ruling class. They were pragmatic realists who may not have liked the situation that the nation found itself in, but recognized the futility of struggle, and the need for peace and stability.

Jesus threatened this stability, because people said he was Messiah. But confusingly, he did not seem to be setting himself against the Romans. He told people to continue to pay taxes, and even HEALED family members of Roman soldiers.

But there was all this talk about the NEW KINGDOM.

Zealots. The Zealots wanted the nation to rise against the oppressor. They lived with the stories of David and Jonathan, who fought in the power of God. If but a few would rise up, surely this would herald the coming of Messiah? After all, was this not the PURPOSE of Messiah?

Jesus invited a Zealot into his inner circle. A man called Judas Iscariot. He seemed to have many of the attributes of a revolutionary. But his message of peace and the loving of enemies found no allies within the ranks of the Zealots.

If there was a New Kingdom, then where was the King, and where were his armies?

Does this have any relevance to the crisis facing Church today? I think it does.

As Christians, our response to the crisis in our age may follow similar paths

  • We might seek to remove ourselves from sinful culture entirely, giving up on this world, and look to the next (like the Essenes.)
  • Or we might seek to hold back the tides of immorality and impure doctrine, to defend the faith (like the Pharisees.)
  • Or perhaps we should just realize that Church has to accommodate and compromise with the changing world about us (like the Herodians.)
  • Finally, perhaps we could fight a Guerrilla warfare against the opposition. We could start to see the enemy as less than human, and that all is fair in the holy game of war.

Our understanding of the Kingdom of God, and the PURPOSE of Church as the collective of this Kingdoms AGENTS, is also challenged by this analogy.

  • Is the Kingdom in the next world- Heaven, when we die? Or is it here, right now?
  • Is the Kingdom based on rules and purity of behaviour and doctrine? Or is it based on sinners?
  • Is the Kingdom to be forwarded by political activity and compromise? Or does it transcend earthy powers and authorities?
  • Is the Kingdom to by promoted by violence and aggression against those who do not recognize it? ( I would include aggressive marketing techniques and media attacks on other denominations, other faiths.) Or does LOVE come first in all things?
  • Is the Kingdom bigger than Church? If so, where should the agents of the Kingdom be? Where is our King?

These are questions, not answers, but I am excited. New things are happening. He is making all things new.

Church is in crisis.

Hooray.

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I saw this poison in her veins

I saw this poison in her veins
Running through her body like the venom
Of some ancient serpent
It has brought her to the edge of death
But has not (quite)
Been fatal

This state of toxicity
Has been her secret
And now also
Is mine

So let words be never uttered
Nor stories ever told
Of a child whose hope was stolen
Objectified and sold
This girl whose soul was still-born
Now 43 years old

We spend some time, she and I
Mapping the broken pieces of her life
Never quite seeing the full picture
But waiting for a new terrible tide
To leave rusty memories
Unprotected
Polluting the beach

She tells me of how this stain
Spread into her life
Dripped into her times of closeness
Took away her very self
And how it is all
Her own fault

How I wish we people came with a sump
To unplug and let the bad out
Even as I try to open up her head
And pour in good
It seems that all I do for a while
Is confuse
But bring no relief

I think of all the words of life that I have known and hoped for
And pray them too for her.

For healing, restoration, wholeness,
Grace and love and laughter
Patience kindness gentleness
Hope
And at the core of it all
Peace

7.11.06

Church abuse

The scandals that threaten to tear apart the Catholic Church over sexual abuse by priests continue. The religious authorities have to answer to claims that they were complicit, or at best incompetent, in the way they dealt with allegations against clergy who abused their position.

The rest of us should not kid ourselves that vulnerable people have only been abused within Catholic churches though. Most of us have our own stories of abuse- emotional, spiritual, sexual, even physical within churches. Churches are human institutions, and so we bring in all of our human characteristics- for good and ill.

In churches, we add an extra power to some individuals- we give them an authority that seems all the more unassailable, as it comes from God. There will always be some for whom power corrupts, or opportunity gives too much temptation. Perhaps there is something in the entrepreneurial, risk taking spirit of our charismatic leaders that makes them particularly vulnerable to these sometimes spectacular falls from grace.

It it tempting too to demonise these people- see them as less than human. But I believe that few people start out on a path that seeks to manipulate and abuse. Instead, we start out with lofty intentions, seeking achievement and evidence of our gifting to validate life and ministry. Most of us have dark cupboards in which we hide the dark stuff, hoping that it will never see the light of public scrutiny.

What happens then? Why do apparently good men (and good women) go bad?

The shock to most of us is that we have come to think of church as a place set apart from the world around us. We spend our energy trying to get others to become like us, to join our movement of enlightened folk who are better than the world about them- holier, wiser and equipped with the Scripture and the Spirit to prove it.

But perhaps, just like the field of wheat in Mathew 13, the Church has a mix of wheat and weeds, just like the world around us.

If we assume that the church is full of folk who are already fully (or mostly) sanctified- apart from ourselves of course- then we potentially create an institution in which weakness is unwelcome and secret. We fool ourselves into a dualist situation, where the external profession of holiness is more important than humility and honesty.

And this seems to me to be a situation that breeds abuse.

The pain of public performance

Few years ago I did some worship leading in the USA, and ended up leading worship on TV from a big Baptist church in Washington DC.

I have never been able to watch or listen to myself speak or sing- it makes my toes curl. As the great Victoria Wood used to say, “I was so embarrassed that I had to get my buttocks surgically unclenched.”

So I offer you this piece of video, not as a laugh against the unfortunate Mr Daker, but rather in empathy with him…

(Thanks to http://ship-of-fools.com for the link!)

Squeezing my stuff through the eye of a needle 2

Good old Laurie Taylor. He presents a radio programme called ‘thinking allowed’ on radio 4, looking at pieces of social research that say something about British society.

A recent programme had an article about possessions. He spoke to a sociologist who, building on earlier research into our relationship with the things we own, had spent a year speaking to people on a London street, getting to know something about them, the spaces the occupy, and the stuff they fill these spaces with.

I don’t know about you, but I have always had an uneasy relationship with the things I own. I follow Jesus, and he seemed to advocate freeing ourselves from the accumulation of things. He suggested that his followers did not even need two shirts on their backs. However, he also feasted and shared life with his friends (Lazarus for example)in their own houses, and so clearly he was able to appreciate some of the uses to which we can put the things we own.

My hero’s are often people who leave behind ’stuff’, in favour of life that is for God. I have quoted Mother Teresa- “We rob our brothers by all that we own.”

But I know that I can easily be motivated by the getting of, and the enjoyment in, the gadgets and gear that fills my life. It is always something that I have resisted, but I know it is there.

Back to the research. What it seemed to indicate was surprising. There seems to be a direct relationship between the accumulation of precious things- books, photos, treasures etc, that clutter our homes, and the strength, depth and number of our connections to PEOPLE.

If your home is empty and barren, then it is at least possible that your life will lack connections and significant relationships.

Where your treasure is, there is your heart also…? Is it possible that we value most objects because of their MEANING- and this meaning ultimately only has significance in relationship?

Perhaps it might be an interesting exercise to think about a list of your favourite things- a bit like the song. can we measure these things in terms of the degree to which they bring us into relationship with others?

Does this make them good?

I am not sure. Perhaps this idea is seductive- like the possessions themselves. Ultimately, we leave them behind…

But here, almost like a confession- is some of the stuff I value highly. Perhaps it says more about me than I would like!

Musical instruments- the ability to make something lovely out of strung wood.

My laptop- the creativity and connection this brings to me.

The house– space to be alone, and to be with my family and my friends.

Pictures- that record the growth of the kids and the years with Michaela

Books- for obvious reasons

Gadgets- all sorts of clever ways to achieve very little

Cricket balls- I love the feel of the leather in your hand…

The TV remote– It is mine. Step away from the remote control. It is mine.

Squeezing my stuff through the eye of a needle 1.

We are buying a new car.

As ever in this process, the concept of NEED becomes a very elastic term. 

The council for the defence of this profligacy is something like this;

  • We live in a rural area, where I have to provide a car for my work.
  • Public transport is not an option, because where it exists, it is so infrequent that it is entirely impractical.
  • Our old car is very tired, and needs a lot of money spending on it. It has done a lot of miles, and lonely country miles at that.
  • Our cars have always been multi-purpose load luggers- house moves, PA gear, camping stuff, bikes, trips out with assorted kids, stone and logs for the fire.

The council for the prosecution is a little harsher of course.

  • So you need a new car- why not get another old banger? Why a shiny posh one?
  • Could it really be about strengthening your fragile ego?
  • Think of all that money- and the better uses that you could put it to.
  • It will break down anyway, and cost you a fortune!
  • All that stuff you espouse about looking after the world God gave us, and turning away from consumerism- you are a fraud!

But, whatever the verdict, and whatever the personal angst- the deed is done.

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Gravestones

At rest on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

In ground that heaves and rolls
Stands old gravestones
Old sailors home from sea
Tilting at the wind,
Leaning into years
Growing slow lichens
Like ragged green clothes.
Soon to lay down low
And silent.

And it made me think that you and me,
Now standing tall against it all
Straight and strong
Our roads still long
Are winding our way towards
Our own appointment with the friendly ground.
When we set aside this monument
To our mortality.


Summer 2004.

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Stuff we have heard/said in Church!

Lest we all take this stuff to seriously…

(first posted on aoradh’s website- here)

It is time for some painful stuff heard in Christian circles and reported back to us. These awful yet wonderful moments are just too good to waste.

And what is more- it is all true(ish.)

There was the pastor who took a detour from his sermon to have a little rant at the permissive society, and stumbled into the realm of gender politics. Catching himself in uncomfortable territory he stopped, and said this …people may say that I am homophobic, but I am NOT. I am GOD PHOBIC!

He did. Honest.

I was there, and as far as I was able to ascertain, there was no irony intended!

Another Pastor, whilst discussing wedding matters MEANT to say For an occasion such as this. Unfortunately, but to others great delight, what he ACTUALLY said was Fornication such as this…”

Then there was a blunder from me, whilst praying one day in good worship-leading, pompous style- You know the kind, the sort of prayers that are not prayers at all, but are just space fillers to make the songs seem a bit more spiritual.

Dear Lord, some of us are old, some of us are young, some of us are JUST RIGHT.

There was another minister who proclaimed that our worship should rise like incest before the throne of God. The shaking shoulders and streaming eyes were a mystery to him…

Another minister was telling stories to the kids in a service about the Tater family- you get the picture- Imi Tator, Agi Tator and Dick Tator. His personal favorite must have been Dick, as he made a particular point of asking the kids if anyone had a dick in their family…

Christians, you’ve got to laugh.

Hope you enjoyed some of Dave Walkers cartoons too!