I have hinted a few times here that we are facing a major life change. At last, I have come to the point of having to actually make some choices. They amount to one of the following;
An application for a new social work management job, managing all adult care (currently I manage Mental Health services.)
A demotion to a team leaders job.
Redundancy.
I also have, for the first time after 2 years a date – the 27th of July – by which everything will be concluded (although I have learnt to distrust any deadline made in this process!) I need to make my choice by the end of next week.
In many ways however it was a choice I made some time ago because I am just about at the end of my coping skills with my current job.
This is in part because of the natural process of working on the very edges of society for nearly 22 years, attempting to balance what often seem like mutually incompatible priorities- the (still mostly primary) hope that social workers have of really helping people/making a difference, and the agency responsibility to manage budgets and police the welfare state.
It is also because of the total lack of respect that wider society has for the things that social workers do- despite the fact that we have yet to find any other profession or any other mechanism that will do the things that we do. And some of the things that I have done and people I have met along the way you would not believe…
Then there is the increasing grinding pressure of regulation, scrutiny and performance management. The things that are quantifiable and therefore to the interest of the system are often the things that I have very little interest in. It is almost impossible to measure things like improvement in wellbeing, lives subtly changed because of the chemistry of kindness and respect. Social workers now spend 80% of their working lives in front of computer screens. Tell me where and how this makes sense?
Then there are the senior managers. Some appear to be suffering from some kind of psychopathy- I can never work out whether the job did this to them, or they rose so high because of (a.) their inability to see any colours other than black and white, and (b.) their utter lack of interest in anyone who did not directly enhance or threaten their careers. (The former are courted, the latter ruthlessly destroyed.) The end result is toxicity in the heart of a profession that is supposed to be all about caring.
Finally there are the suits. It probably says something about my career that I have always refused to work in a suit. I often feel slightly self conscious about this as I am frequently the only man in a room that is not wearing one. But the suit has come to represent something to me of what I am NOT. That is not to say that every person dressed in smart business wear in councils is somehow suspect, sold out- I have met many lovely suit wearers. It is just that suits are power statements, and I am much more interested in making real connections with people. It has become something of an overvalued issue for me, so much so that I am considering renting a tuxedo for my last day in work- catharsis by cummerbund.
The choice to leave will mean large amounts of uncertainty for both me and my family. But right now it feels like the only choice possible, and this is both tantalising and terrifying in equal measure.
After a particularly brutal week, there was a chance that today could have gone something like this;
(This post bring back lots of memories! Can you believe that this was a children’s programme back in the 80’s? This one seems to recommend idleness and alcoholism! I confess to a slight affinity to Murun Buchstansangur- perhaps related to the general melancholy that seems to be his watchword…)
After a morning seeking motivation, I eventually sparked into life, and re roofed my workshop and the bike shed- both damaged in the big storm. Quite a productive un-Murun like day in the end.
The postman brought me a letter today, offering me jobs that I do not want, or redundancy. It has been a long time coming (2 years of rumour, misinformation, bad communication and often downright overt rudeness) and despite having made my decision some time ago, it was still something of a shock to the system.
Murun does not seem to need a job. I wonder who pays his mortgage, or re-roofs his sheds?
This morning, around 5AM Emily came into our room to say that the chickens were making a fearful row in the back garden.
Yesterday we got two new Chickens that we introduced to the hen house overnight. They often fight at first, until they have established their pecking order, but they have next to no sight in poor light, so it is very unusual for them to be active when it is still dark.
I confess I turned over and tried to sleep, while Michaela and Emily went to investigate.
They found the new pair of chickens still in the roosting box, but the two older ones out in the garden shouting their beaks off.
Then they saw a sleek shape move easily over the ground, up onto the wall where it trotted off along the lane. There is a streetlight on the lane, and so they had a good view of the animal against the light.
As far as they can see with research, it was a Pine Marten. The other options- Stoat, Polecat or Mink were all discounted by the intrepid pair as a result of being too small, too short of tail, too dark of face.
Now we have a bit of a dilemma. It is so exciting to have such a lovely wild and rare creature in the garden.
But we also know that they are perfectly capable of taking chickens. And we love our chickens.
For now, all we can do is shut them up at night (we have been letting them go to bed when they are ready and not shutting them in as we have never had any problems before.)
In the unfolding year, it always seems surprisingly early, like snowdrops…
Our kitchen reeks of pancakes after last night- I think I must have cooked about 100, for family, friends and house group in order to mark the beginning of a time when we need to get serious, intentional and reflective as we move towards Easter. For some this is marked by doing without- fasting from a food, or an activity. For others, we mark this time by doing something extra- committing ourselves to some regular meditation or act of service for example. Marking these yearly rhythms is increasingly important to me, not least because of the influence of a friend.
Over the last few days we have had an old friend staying with us, Maggy Cooper, who is a retreat leader at St Beuno’s Abbey, a Jesuit spiritual centre in North Wales made famous by the BBC programme ‘The Big Silence‘. Some of it has found it’s way onto you tube if you missed it- and it really is worth watching for anyone who is at all interested in the power of ancient traditions (I have blogged about it previously here.)
When we meet with old friends, we find ourselves looking back over our shared journeys. All those years where we have been challenged, encouraged, and laughed together. Also all those more subtle ways in which we influenced one another- the convergence of ideas and opinions, and ideas that, once shared, take on a deeper significance in our lives.
Maggy is one of those people for us, and it was great to see her again…
In order to look for new ideas of how to organise our economy, we have to understand the old ones. Never was this more important.
In the 1920’s and 30’s, two protagonists argued polarised opposite views in the midst of their own economic crisis. One (Friedrich Hayek) insisted that the free market would right itself, and that the job of government was to get out of the way, to reduce its spending and the proportion of the public purse that interfered with the self correcting forces of free market economics.
John Maynard Keynes fundamentally disagreed. He said it was the job of government to govern, and the primary way that they should do this was by managing the economy. He was concerned with the human consequences of boom and bust economics – mass unemployment, poverty.
These two polar opposite positions have been fought over ever since. One libertarian, one interventionist. One arguing for centralised control, the other wanting no control at all. Evidence for the failure of both positions exists.
The free market brought us vulture capitalism, Thatcherism and the current crisis. It became the mantra of the International Monetary Fund, and the basis on which it manipulated whole nations. Centalised managed economies did not do well in the former communist countries. And we in the UK remember the strikes and power cuts of the 1970’s.
However it is also possible to point to the stable, eventually prosperous and well managed period after the second world war when Keynes ruled the world, or the eventual triumph of the Free Market, until this current crisis of course.
The question remains as to how this argument will play out in our current context. It seems that the current political instinct is towards Hayek, whilst having to acknowledge that when the free market is really free, then the unbridled greed it releases is potentially destructive to us all.
Forgive the commercial, but I thought it might be worth mentioning some of the things that we have been developing around our lovely old house…
Sgath an Tighe is a lovely Victorian house with stunning views out over the Clyde estuary. It is used as a base for a number of different activities, including a working pottery, a place of spiritual retreat (including wilderness retreats) and craft workshops. We can also arrange guided mountain bike tours, individually led outdoor activities and life-coaching (via our friend Nick,) or maybe you would just like to rest and enjoy the tranquillity of the house, and this beautiful area.
There are shops and restaurants locally, and the town of Dunoon is within easy reach. Take a steamer cruise and explore the unspoilt hills and lochs of the Cowal Peninsula. Outdoor activities are on offer in the area with sailing, kayaking, sea fishing, quad bikes, clay shooting and more. Located at the edge of Loch Lomond National Park, the area is ideal for walkers and cyclists and boasts magnificent scenery.
Attached to the house is a delightful cottage. On the ground floor it has a living room, kitchen and a bathroom with shower. Upstairs there are two bedrooms: one light and spacious double, and one twin room with sea views. There is an open fire in the living room, (initial fuel included, further logs available), gas central heating (£25pw Oct-Apr), electricity and bed linen included, freeview TV, DVD player, CD player, and the kitchen is equipped with a cooker, microwave, washing machine and freezer. Wi-fi The cottage leads onto a shared, enclosed lawned garden with a sitting-out area and furniture, vegetable gardens and free-range chickens. Parking is available, and a cycle store. Guests are greeted with a welcome tray. No smoking.
Over the next few months, the plan is also to develop part of the house for bed and breakfast, which will then allow us to have more space available for planned retreats, which is what we are both passionate about.
So if you are looking for a holiday up amongst the mountains and lochs, then get in touch!
It is my birthday today! Thank you dear friends for your cards, messages and presents.
Not so long ago around this time I was in hospital recovering from nearly drowning. So each new year is one of added blessing.
Today though my mind is on my lovely daughter, in the middle of preliminary exams for her highers. It is a rollercoaster of fear, hope, defeat, optimism, confidence, hopelessness. Today she was given a bad result, and also struggled through a maths exam.
So today I offer her the words of a song from a Heidi Talbot album that Michaela gave me-
I’m the sea that surrounds you
the garden that grounds you
the sun and the wind and the rain
I am every season
you’re every reason
to start it all over again
Soon you’ll sail a wild river
we’ll set sail together
and oceans will call out your name
and by stars you will follow
your hopes for tomorrow
and start it all over again
And if you stagger or stumble
if dreams start to crumble
I’ll pick up the pieces of pain
I will cradle you cry with you
pray that you’ll try to just
start it all over again
Who has eyes that can see
all the things you could be?
who has ears for the sweetest refrain?
may your heart sing forever
where the sea meets the river
and start it all over again
Or perhaps worship music is the carrier of culture into faith.
If either of these statements are true then what we sing together in churches is formational, fundamental. Our songs shape our belief, our worldview and our action in subtle and profound ways. Perhaps it is another one of those times when the medium might become the message.
What comes first, the culture or the song? Instinctively we would have to say the culture, but the idea of culture is one that demands a little more examination. I am using the term not to describe the shared tenants/creeds of the Christian faith but rather to describe something of the shared context, deep assumptions and instinctive reactions that people tend to converge upon in our collectives.
Culture is so powerful a force on how we live and think about ourselves that it can come to be indistinguishable from creed. I think I need to demonstrate this with a couple of examples.
I have spent some time in America, doing some worship music with a Southern Baptist Convention. There was, shall we say, a degree of cultural friction, but it was on the whole a fantastic experience. What was obvious to me as an outsider to this culture was the degree to which expressions of faith became interwoven with a whole set of wider assumptions- political, economic, commercial. These assumptions became totally self perpetuating, as many people seemed to have virtually no contact with people outside this culture. They shopped at ‘Christian’ shops, employed ‘Christian’ tradesman, listened only to ‘Christian’ voices (and only ones from a particular part of the spectrum) and voted always for ‘Christian’ politicians. God, community and country were indistinguishable.
I particularly remember a store with a whole isle selling nothing but Aslans, in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Next to another selling Bible cases decorated with the American flag.
Those who did not conform to a particular way of being were gently corrected, or would find themselves ‘outside’.
The best way of describing this culture I have heard is this one- Moralistic Therapeutic Deism. God exists as a kind of divine therapist, mediating the psychological and financial rewards of society upon those who can conform to a certain moral code. God is a personal saviour, who will guarantee self esteem and success. Those who lack these things need to repent, and get more God so that they get some kind of a chance in the next life if not in this one.
All this has real strengths but it is hard to fully reconcile it all with the story of Jesus. Jesus called us to go, not stay. He seemed intent on overturning tables erected by the religious folk. He gravitated towards the outsiders, the poor, the broken. He started no political parties, nor would be joined to any. And he certainly gave no guarantees for health and wealth.
If I sound critical of the American church, then this is only because these issues were so much more obvious to me as an outsider. We can make equally critical comments about our own religious institutions. Think back towards the days of Empire and the complicity of our own churches even with genocide.
But how is this perspective reflected in our songs of worship?
When you stand back and look at the canon of songs that we have inherited over the last thirty years written both sides of the Atlantic they have some common characteristics;
They focus primarily on individual encounters with a personal God. Often it is as if worship is the means by which God ministers to us in some kind of Holy Spirit therapy.
They assume that repentance is required to allow us to be acceptable to God, and therefore to receive his blessing. However, repentance is primarily concerned with individual morality- particularly sexuality or dishonesty. We hear next to nothing about injustice, consumerism, over consumption or the workings of international capitalism.
There is little call to collective action, apart from parallel individual actions in line with the point above. There is little idea that repentance can be collective, or that change requires sacrifice and joint action.
Then there is the theological assumptions of the unassailable centrality of penal substitutionary atonement. The only way to save the world is one soul at a time- and our interest is really only in saving them from hell in the next life.
Does this sound familiar? I am of course not saying that the views above are necessarily wrong, rather that they arise from culture. They are then reinforced and communicated within our songs. Where then are the songs of protest, of prophetic vision, of renewed or alternative perspectives? The songs of the marginalised now welcomed home, the songs that disturb and challenge? The songs that confront power in the name of the weak? Where are the songs that remember the God who liberates captives not just in the abstract, who breaks actual chains? Where are the songs for the wayside pilgrim campfire, not those that require a graphic equaliser and power amplifier?
As ever, Brian McLaren has some interesting things to say on this issue. If not songs about personal relationships with Jesus, then what? He suggested some of the following in this article which is well worth reading in full;
Biblical vision of God’s future which is pulling us toward itself
Not just evangelism, but mission – participating in the mission of God, the kingdom of God, which is so much bigger and grander than our little schemes of organizational self-aggrandizement) is the key element needed as we move into the postmodern world.
Re-discover historic Christian spirituality and express it in our lyrics.
Songs that are simply about God … songs giving God the spotlight, so to speak, for God as God, God’s character, God’s glory, God’s beauty, God’s wonder and mystery, not just for the great job God is doing at making me feel good.
Songs of lament. The Bible is full of songs that wail, the blues but even bluer, songs that feel the agonizing distance between what we hope for and what we have, what we could be and what we are, what we believe and what we see and feel. The honesty is disturbing, and the songs of lament don’t always end with a happy Hallmark-Card-Precious-Moments cliché to try to fix the pain. ( Amen Brian!)
By way of another example;
Who remembers the song ‘Heart of Worship’? I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about you. If I remember rightly, this came about as a result of a song writer/worship leader coming to the realisation that the music had taken over, so they stopped singing for a while to reflect and rebalance.
Then wrote a song about it.
It is not just the irony of this that should raise an eyebrow, it is the fact that the only cultural response to such a challenge to worship culture is to do the same thing again with a bit more passion.
Perhaps it might be time to do something totally different.
One of the things about the most recent renewal movement to sweep through the church, which I will describe using the words ’emerging/missional consciousness’ has been the LACK of songs, and the lack of singing.
I think this is partly reaction formation against the things mentioned above, but also because other forms of worship have been in the ascendancy. I have taken a similar journey with my own community, Aoradh. We became much more interested in ‘Alternative worship’, borrowing more from the art gallery than the auditorium. Worship became more about encounter within a shared space, with the emphasis being about openness and creativity.
All movement however need a corrective because the pendulum will swing too far and will overbalance the clock.
And all movements also need to communicate their hopes, dreams, ideas and worship. Within the emerging church this has tended to happen over the internet- blogs, podcasts, you tube clips, twitter feeds, even the old archaic websites.
But we still need to sing. We are not just individuals with access to chatrooms, we are also flesh and vocal chord.
Sing me a song of freedom and a song of hope, and I will sing it with you.
“Destitute Food and Hygiene Parcels Project”. They now have 13 people registered as well as occasional users and, at present, are at full stretch and will have to turn away anyone else seeking to register. There are distribution points stocked by other projects across Glasgow but destitution is on the increase amongst asylum seekers and likely to increase further if plans to give the housing contract to a security firm go ahead.
Donations of the following items are required to assist destitute refused asylum seekers who cannot return to their own countries at the present time:
Quote from a regular recipient of a food pack “I cannot find the words to thank you for what you are doing here for us so I simply open my heart to God in prayer because He sees how grateful I am.” (a lady in her 60s from Zimbabwe).